i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
