I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i drank out of a bidet.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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