So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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