He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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