You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
