It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
