i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
