Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
