sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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