She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
bring money and cleavage
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
