if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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