You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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