So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
