Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
420 ftw
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
