How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
