Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
