I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
