Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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