his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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