mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize