i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
