just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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