If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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