just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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