ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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