I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize