I accidentally had phone sex last night
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
