Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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