it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
