Welp...herpes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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