I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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