is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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