Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
