It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
