You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
