Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
