bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
