I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
