Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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