Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
