Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
