So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
