this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
