yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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