i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
