just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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