His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
