I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
