I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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