So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she looked like the before picture.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
