also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
