Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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