nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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