based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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