Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
