True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
