Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
