it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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