I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
