So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
