??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have demons in me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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