How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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